Fear

When I came to Palestine over a week ago I was in the mindset that I am practically entering a post war zone. I knew it wouldn't exactly be safe or a walk in the park after talking to Palestinian students I met in January.

After a week of being here, 'post' war zone couldn't be further from the truth. With what's happened with the 3 israeli teens being killed ALLEGEDLY by Palestinians and the brutality and murder carried out by the Israelis, it's much more of a pre war zone. There are many clashes all over Palestine. All of a sudden, most of my Facebook friends and the groups and pages I follow are sharing and writing posts in support of Palestine condemning the actions of the Israelis showing the scale of people this has reached.

Being here in Abu Dis it is not the centre of the conflict but the incidents have been getting closer and closer. Clashes are taking place in Abu Dis and I keep myself away. My family and friends back home all tell me to just come home asap. Many people I have met here have talked about how a potential uprising is imminent and that the indicators are there. Life in Abu Dis continues to go on. We go to work in the morning and open the fast in the evening and see our friends. But lately clashes are on the rise. There have been a few helicopters passing over this week and the way the Israelis bomb Gaza and the way the media backs them up I can't help but worry that what if we were bombed now? England wouldn't go against Israel, they'd get get a slapped wrist and call it an accident or something like that. Only yesterdat in Abu Dis there was a car with a sort of megaphone and speaker system driving around apparently urging people to stand up for Palestine. At night there was a standoff between locals and the israeli army and army though nothing significant took place, the numbers of people who showed up was quite large. The very next morning, today, Israel killed another 9 people in Gaza and 2 in shofat. So who knows what will happen next?

What is surreal is the genuine threat there is out here. When passing a checkpoint or a guard, I can't help but wonder that this is a trigger happy moron who would love an excuse to beat the daylights out of me or worse for being a Muslim and pro Palestine.  Over the years I've heard of foreign people being hurt or killed out here like reporters being mowed down by a tank. Even if such incidents are rare or one off, I can't help but think, what if I'm the next "one off". Initially I wasn't fearful, I'd downplay anything people from back home would say to me. I'd think yeah Palestine is pretty dangerous but then realise I am in Palestine, so I can't imagine how my mother must feel every time she hears something about Palestine. Over the last couple of days, the fear is creeping in. It seems so dangerous now and it's ramadan. Palestinians are more reserved and have little energy in this month. What will happen when ramadan ends? I fear being caught up in a war.